Back to school: Supporting your worried child.

For many children and young people the prospect of returning to school following lockdown, can be a worrying and anxious time. Some children may be concerned about the pressures of returning to school and catching up on missed learning. Others may be worried that their return to school is no longer the same post Covid-19. Many children will have preferred life in isolation, spending time with family in a safe, predictable and more relaxed environment. Some may be struggling with the grief and loss of significant changes in lifestyle.

What's happening when your child feels anxious

When children are met with a situation that causes them to feel anxious or stressed, the body will enter what is known as the 'flight or fight' response. This is a neurological and physiological reaction that occurs in response to what may be happening for the child at that current time. When a situation is overwhelming for them, they may experience feelings such as sweating, heart beating fast or a fluttery feeling in the stomach.

Supporting your child with their worried feelings

Be curious

When trying to understand more about your child's thoughts and feelings, it is important to be curious and listen to them carefully. Curiosity requires you to be objective and ask open ended questions, in order to determine why your child may be feeling or behaving the way they are.

Recognise and Validate their Feelings

This involves accepting your child's feelings, empathising with your child and normalising their feelings.

What children need most from you, is the understanding that their feelings are normal and that you accept them.

It is helpful for them to know that others will be feeling the same way and that there is nothing wrong with feeling the way they do. Scripts such as "I understand that you are feeling worried about going back to school..." can be helpful.

Start with small steps

Worries and anxieties can often be alleviated with small, controlled experiences. You may encourage you child to connect with friends over video call or arrange to see a friend at the park before returning to school.

Devise a plan for the transition back to school

Planning can be a really helpful resource in trying to reduce anxiety. Working together with your child to create a plan for their first day back to school will be helpful. This may include, what it may look like, who they will see, what they need to take with them; looking at photos can be helpful to remind you child about school, teachers and friends.

Talking through strategies together with your child will improve their problem solving skills and enable them to feel empowered

Focus on the positive

Acknowledge that school may be difficult at times. Talk to your child about the things they liked about school, such as playing with their friends, seeing their teacher, particular lessons or activities their enjoyed. Recognise and praise your child for their efforts.